Stave off Meeting Blahs

PEDAL the last yards, swerving into
ALLEY–fumble, gasping, for garage key, hang bike from hook.
EMBED now the memory of the ten mile adventure,
TRUMPing every dead meeting moment that lies ahead.

Cough

TOUGH was the cough; staying home cost me
DOUGH, rough though it was, lying home
DYING, reading Ulysses with Leopold
PLUME – sorry, Bloom – in the tomb of my room.

Dough!

TOUGH H. Simpson finally closes the valve,
DYING klaxon alarm tails off.
PLUME of radioactivity over Springfield averted:
DOUGH!

Yer Granny

Oh yer
CANNY shove yer granny off a bus;
NOMADder if she never makes a fuss.
SNORT loud she might and biff yer, she’s
CABIN (‘scuse the cold) for to get yer; oh yer
CANNY shove yer granny off a bus.

(Sorry for the matching line at the end, aficionados!)

The opening line ‘pinched’ from this song