Author: Mike Crowl

HONEY, come over here and check out the
PRICE of this bunch of radishes. This must be a
PRANK – almost a dollar per individual Brassicaceae?*
POUTY-faced is how I’ll be when I reach the checkout!

Brassicaceae can be pronounced Bras-si-kay-cee – and is in this piece.

If I was able to
EXCEL at knowing all things
AVIAN, I’d beat my
THICK little smart aleck
NINTH cousin in the IQ stakes.

Those golfers who EXCEL at the
NINTH hole, are those who’ve avoided the
THICK AVIAN that haunts the spot and
eats golf balls (and sometimes golfers) for lunch.

‘It’s offal how STOICs eat TRIPE,’ his
SHORT girlfriend complained. He replied,
‘I think you VERGE on mispronunciation, Miss. Treating a
TRIPE-eating STOIC as VERGE-ing on SHORT of taste.’  

My first attempt wound up in a drastic STATE,
ERODEd my ideas of birth and death and fate.
Perhaps this second try will be more TASTY,
WACKY even, not like a undercooked pastie.

Nope, the thing insists on being WACKY,
a STATE of things I know is tacky.
TASTY it’s not, and hasn’t flowed –
it’s caused my hard-won lines to ERODE.

The NEWLY-weds appear to take their vows:
he an old bloke soaked in BRINE,
she, the apple of his eye, his former PUPIL.
UTTER astonishment gluts the guests.

SUGAR, sugar, I’d love to buy you A ROSE,
but the florist’s shut and the car is broke.
ELDER, my elderberry, there’s no KNEED;
I know ya love me, and that ain’t no joke.          

Shake the snake and break it, DRUID!
SWELL, pour out all its fluid.
Once nailed to the stake, the SNAKE,
CRUELly treated, may prove devil’s fruitcake.                    

‘Is this a CHAFE MOVIE,’ asked the lisper?
‘Hang on, I’ll ANNEX it online and
TRACK the information down.’
‘Don’t worry,
I found it on my phone. It is a CHAFE MOVIE.’     

EnCRYPTed message tattooed on his
FLESH, the messenger travels with social
POISE, knowing no one will check the
POPPY imprinted on his hair-prickled neck.