GRACE, until then an enthusiastic amateur, began earning
DOUGH for doing what she’d always loved: playing
SPORT. The tedium of endless travelling, training and timekeeping,
CIRCA 2020, soon took the edge of her enthusiasm.
Category: MikeCrowl
Misunderstood
STEIN (Rick Stein the chef, not the drink) came in for a
REFIT. Seems a bit of his aging anatomy – a
JOINT – had gone awry. No wonder he was
TESTY. Wait! Did he mean a joint he’d cooked?
Fizzy
FRITZ is not a common name to
UTTER, but the one-syllable zip of it is
LIGHT to the tongue, giving an extra tingle to the
AORTA.
Flat flatting
ULTRA crisp, clean white
SHIRT – or so I dreamt. I
AWOKE to one wet, unironed – had to
VAUNT sleeping cat, snoring dog, last night’s empties, three packs of crackers, only to find the flatmate had ‘borrowed’ the iron last week.
Angled pasta
PENNE is “an extruded type of pasta” best eaten in a
GLADE. It has “cylinder-shaped pieces,” which, with a
CRICK of the fork, you can flick hither and yon in a
MANLY way. “Their ends are cut at an angle.”
The Abbot
One
STILT for the one-legged
ABBOT to balance on. One
CHAIR for the Abbot to sit on, in
MAUVE, the Abbot’s number one colour.
No-longer-puppy
FETCH! I yell at my mooching dog,
BERTHa. This no-longer-puppy is ever-the-
IDLER. She saunters round in her own
ORBIT. The stick lies stuck in the mud.
Ovine gloom
MISSY, I miss you a lot, my sunshine, moonshine
OVINE. This, your resting place, your supine space, midst yellow
BROOM – a kind of womb with heaps of room – where your
SOAPY wool now cools, while my soul’s a darkroom full of gloom.
Ah, cruel fate!
The
SUITE was tiny, my stay not helped by the
TRUNK being undeliverable. Ah,
CRUEL fate! Even though I don’t travel
ALLOT, I still have the worst traveller’s tales.
Stain
BOBBY, with considerable difficulty, removed the
STAIN – or so he thought. Pulling it out of the
DRIER he discovered the stain wasn’t gone, merely
PALER.