In reverse

The meal was of immense VALUE,
but one look at the DEBIT
card made me feel LOUSY.
My wife, in her generous way, called me an inGRATE!

Secret smoker

ASHEN burns on ancient brown ash-
TRAYS. Nicotine stains on fingers.
BUGLE warning, hide the stash! Something’s
AMISS! It’s that smoky reek than lingers!

2 for the price of 1

GOING back home to my weak and wonky
HOVEL where the windows are weak-minded, and the door
HINGE, the one at the bottom and not at the top, has a
QUIRK that makes a rough and whinging scuff along the floor.