Icky IKEA

UNIT-Y in the IKEA range is causing me
GLOOM, a gloom looming, a slippery slope, both
TROPEs for a panic attack, the polar opposite of a
LEMUR’s calm in his natural Madagascan state.

Misreading

UNITY of sign and sense, he reads on, in settling
GLOOM, treatise on skeletal anatomy.
TROPE of scholar spending his sight on mental quest-
LEMUR?! Who has a lemur in their leg?

Bertha in charge

BERTHa was a pirate with a great big pirate’s
CHEST – of treasure. She’d oft berate her saucy mates with
LOFTY views, which would state treasure chests were Bertha’s, and
FEIGN what you like, or grate your teeth, you’d never see a piece of real estate.

Art vs Sport

ARTS? Y? Why do you want me to do arts?
LEAN To me, son, and I’ll tell you.
AMEN Dad, now I’ve listened to your wisdom, it
UNDID all my former thoughts on baseball.